Two-fer

So about two months ago Soccer Dude asked me out....Soccer Dude, in case the name wasn't clear, plays soccer.

I met him a couple years ago on our team.  He is the lifelong friend of our team captain and goalie..I had a crush on him almost immediately because he was normal and played soccer.  Two years ago, I had just broken up with a sociopathic Irish fuck and normal was SUPER duper hot.

But even though we flirted and connected and all, he never bit when I'd hurl myself at him, ask to hang out etc.

This did not help my belief (which has since been confirmed, but that's another post) that I'm a crazy magnet....if you're insane I'm your girl.  If you're normal, nope.

So as years went by, he'd occasionally pop up on the team or pitch in random facebook comments and likes.  I maintained a minor thing for him for a while.

So imagine my surprise when he finally decided after a random run in at the Quakes playoff game (in which they fucking lost and ruined my life....ok not really but they capped off what was truly an awful fucking week.....that was when my evil fire breathing ass-dragon boss was still around) that we should hang out more.

Then I went to Mexico and Thanksgiving happened....but we had our first "date" the first weekend of December.  At my place.  Watching football.  Which was kinda awesome because not only did I get my apt cleaned (dating, disaster activity that it is, has been incredibly good for keeping my apt clean), but I got to watch sports and drink in house without worrying about driving.

Soccer dude was a little hyper for my tastes....I could see why he smoked so much weed....I considered slipping him a Xanax but opted against that because at the time I needed all the anti-anxiety meds for myself.

After our quasi-successful date, we kept talking about getting together for dinner but we could never make it work....until we both found out neither of us were working the week after Christmas.  Soccer dude was going to be staying at his folks place nearby and we agreed we'd go out then.

Only, when he finally called to meet for drinks....he brought his friend along.  On our date.  What?!?!  It was the Goalie from our team so he was my friend too....but that was just awkward.  I also couldn't say no.

So there was I, dressed up, at a dive bar with two guys.  PIMP...only not really.  Soccer dude was already high and one sheet to the wind, well on his way to two sheets.

We weren't there more than three hours but half way through, Soccer dude was dancing in the bar, by himself and Goalie and I were embarrassed   Then Soccer dude went outside and started chatting with anyone he could....at one point he even brought in a homeless dude and bought him a beer.

Meanwhile, whilst Soccer dude was boozing it up and being all kinds of stupid, I had been chatting up a random guy at the bar.  I had noticed him when he first walked in and saw tats peaking out of his grey sweatshirt....before I left with two dudes, I also left with his number (his tale comes later...his tale contains almost as much fuckery as this one).

Since Soccer dude had been the driver for him and Goalie and was clearly incapable of driving, I decided I'd drive them both to Goalie's place, we'd watch a movie or two while Soccer dude sobered up enough to drive (as it turns out drive to my place...which wasn't far).  While at Goalies place, the most awkward of awkward moments so far occurred.

When Soccer dude got up to go to the bathroom, Goalie asked me "would it be awkward to tell you I want to kiss you?"

Um what?  Yes its fucking awkward especially considering I'm trying to take your less than sober buddy home to be my boy toy.....

Then when Goalie went to the bathroom, Soccer dude and I made out.

Eventually I couldn't take the awkward anymore and told them I'd take Soccer dude to his car.  Then Soccer dude followed me home for an awkward night of bad kissing, high school fondling and him sleeping WAY past his welcomed time.

Once I finally got his lazy ass up and out, I was happy....and had already received a hello hey how ya doing text from the other guy I'd hit on whilst out with my two would be suitors....

I didn't hear from Soccer dude until the following weekend.....to talk about football.  Seriously?  You spend the night mauling me and you wanna talk football.  Well I never.....