Mock(ing) Trial

So much like last year, someone was stupid enough to believe I should be allowed to influence (corrupt) young minds. I coached a mock trial team....again.

Clearly no one is learning anything about what a terrible idea this is, has been, and always will be.

This year has been a little more challenging than last year -- same school but last year about half the team graduated. And this year attrition killed the rest of our team. Everyone has a double role, memorization was a thing of myth and quite frankly if we could even just get everyone there I was ready to call the evening a raging success.

So tonight I was in rare form. In between asking CPOC out for happy hour (we tried to coordinate last minute last Friday and I tried to play it casual and pretty much was unsuccessful on both accounts) because I'd seen him in court and I must say I was looking pretty damn adorable (I won't lie, when I know I have court these days, I dress extra cute on account I'm likely to run into him) and wrangling cats, I mean teenagers, I managed to be an asshole too.

You know, the kind of asshole who's in her 30's but can still find it in her heart to mock teenagers who are mostly likely in their super awkward stages. And mock trial teenagers are usually some of the MOST awkward.

Look, some of these teams take it a little too seriously. Ya'll know this shit isn't real, right? No one goes to jail, no one dies....it's MOCK trial.

And some teams try to coordinate to some level -- by some teams I mean the private schools.

This year was no exception. There's a team that dresses in all grey -- the boys (and some of the girls) wear bow-ties. The rest wear scarves...or ascots. Either way they look kinda douchey. Like those assholes in Glee, the Warblers, right? (Not all the Warblers are dicks...mostly just Sebastian -- PS why is it no one named "Sebastian" in shows are movies are nice guys? They are always dicks....or douche nozzles.)

I digress.

Anyways so I happened to be staring and rolling my eyes at these young highschoolers in their ascots and bow-ties and I realized they were wearing the same colors that the young witches and wizards from Gryffindor wore. Wore? Wear? Does Hogwarts still exist even if Harry Potter has long since put away his wizard hat and now sits at home, drinking butter beer and listening to Ginny whine about how fat her ass has gotten and why doesn't he look at her the same way anymore until he finally casts a spell to mute her whiney ass and to mute out the calls of his children who still haven't figured out they should have just stayed at Hogwarts over the winter. Whatever.

Now I could have kept it to myself and only shared with my adult friends later and on this blog.

But like I said, I'm kinda an asshole and I was in an asshole mood -- so I pointed it out to my kids. And made ridiculous Harry Potter jokes. And had my kids snickering like good little public schoolchildren.

I almost felt bad and shared with the Mama; pondering whether my actions were called for or not. She directed me to the pie chart below. And even though it doesn't necessarily answer the question of whether I was a giant asshole or only a small one, it does make me feel better about making Harry Potter references.

'Nough said.