Misappropriation

Sigh.

It's been a rough couple of weeks. I've been in court more than I've even been home. And when I'm not in court, I'm meeting with clients.

Or banging my head against the nearest, solid object (door, desk, wall, copy machine).

These last couple of weeks have brought the usual suspects -- turns out Mr. CPOC indeed was not whispering sweet nothings to me. He was telling me how he didn't think his client should have taken the deal because he thought they could have prevailed. He then asked me what I thought.

Really dude? You may be cute but you're clearly not that quick. If I didn't think I could win, I wouldn't have challenged you to the lawyer's duel (aka a trial).

Since he still didn't asked me to marry him and have ginger babies, I moved along.

Last weekend was my cousin's wedding. Where my soused mother tried to set me up with the DJ. I'm not even sure now how to comment on that.

Then I got back to work and back to the regular grind.

Had court with a guy who had the gall to actually touch me (brush me aside) to try and get to my client after returning the child he withheld from my client; he was fairly harmless this time and I'm feeling less like he's a threat and more just going to be a creepy old guy who's knee I might have to break someday if he EVER touches me again.

It's self-defense bitches -- I don't care that he's literally the same age as my mom. I knock down little girls and grandma's to catch the bouquet at weddings; imagine what I'd do to protect a client.

Anyways, my week was made on Tuesday.

Bane of My Existence (or Bane, as we'll call him) is a whack job who thinks he's really smart and he's really not. For example, he filed a motion against my client asking for fees under non-existent codes and performed what so far is my greatest amusement.

He's alleging he lost his job because my client called too much. He's asking for damages. Under Civil Code Section 3426.3. Which states the following:

"(a) A complainant may recover damages for the actual loss caused by misappropriation. A complainant also may recover for the unjust enrichment caused by misappropriate that is not taken into account in computing damages for actual loss"

First, we're in family court, not civil court. Second, I get the serious sense he doesn't know what misappropriation means.

Oxford definition of misappropriation: dishonestly or unfairly take (something, especially money, belonging to another) for one's own use.

It appears he believes that since he believes she behaved "misapproriately" (poor soul, I would venture a guess he meant inappropriately) that he's entitled to damages....

Then in court, he helpfully told the judge that he had checked my schedule and that I was free for trial during the months of June, July and August.

Oh really? So not only is this guy able to practice law sans law degree (I would say it's a fair bet that many who possess such a degree don't competently practice law either), but he has ESP too.

Neato.

He also writes me letters telling me about the law. Super, I'm so glad you, Mr. Misappropriately, are lecturing Moi on the law.

It's gonna be a looooong summer with him.