Burning Flame

I believe we all have super hero powers. Some involve the ability to spot a wedding ring on a man in less than 3 seconds from a distance of over 20 yards; some involve being able to spot a pregnancy even when no one "knows"....me, my super power?

Well let's start with my super hero name: Super Fruit Fly. Why?

Because I attract gay men to me like flies to sticky paper.

No joke. I take special pride in it, because a: everyone needs a super power, b: my super power is for the good of my gay friends and c: well a true fag hag can never have enough gay men in her life.

I've taken my powers on the road, far outside the realms of the gay friendly Bay Area. And I still am like a gay magnet. Tahoe, winter, '08. Straight people club. My friends and I manage to find the only three gay guys in there. No really.

Mexico, Nueva Vallarta, summer '10. First staff person we encounter; totally gay. Staff person who loved us the most and spent the whole week hanging out with us, "Kikis" totally, undeniably gay.

So it's a thing, which is fine. Many guys in college I used to be attracted to, gay. Soccer players, likely gay. Super hot actors...gay gay gay.

Gay men are also great to have around; they're brutally honest so you know you're looking good when you go out with them (they can be super bitchy if you're not perfectly fashionable).

Anyways, it used to be a joke that when I met a cute guy, I would tell my mom and the first question would be "is he gay." That's how much of a thing for gay guys I have.

So when I started dating perfectly normal Tapioca...I kept fearing something was wrong. Something was off.

After a few weeks of dating, there was no spark. No chemistry. And it took 5 dates over 6 weeks before he kissed me. Then I met his, well purse dog. For whom he had outfits. A five-gallon bin of outfits. For a purse dog.

Aside from the fact that he is clearly not over being divorced (it's been nearly 2 years since she left; their divorce has been final for over a year -- he never has anything nice to say about the marriage....after 6 years together you think there would be some happy memory) and more often refers to his ex as "my wife" than not....I think there might be some questions about his sexuality.

Which is fine. I mean maybe one day he'll come to terms with it and I can have another "fabulous" friend.

Until then, this is Super Fruit Fly, signing out.